May 21, 2004

Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Lawyers

It started in law school.

The first day of law school we had orientation. One of the sessions we had to attend was a lecture from the Vice Dean of Academic Affairs, a guy I later came to love. He told us, "Whatever makes you an interesting person -- keep doing it. Law school has a way of turning you into a robot. Keep going out with your friends, engaging in your hobbies and doing as much interesting non-legal stuff as you can. It doesn't get any better after law school."

I thought he was crazy. Surely I could withstand the pressure to talk about law all the time. Surely I could rise above the fray and remain goofy (read: weird). Surely I would be able to easily buck the trend and be the font of fun and entertainment at my law school, while my fellow students sunk into treatise-induced catatonia.

It happened faster than I expected. I wasn't far into my first semester before I realized something -- I was incapable of having an interesting conversation with someone who wasn't a law student, law professor or lawyer (unless they were a non-lawyer asking me questions about law). All I talked about were cases. I dreamt about Contracts (was the hot guy who just approached me for a steamy night in my dreams making an actual offer? What was the consideration?) I wrangled with Constitutional Law (Did the insane study schedule inflicted by this law school violate the Eighth Amendment?). I laughed myself silly through Torts (How could a jury possibly think that a 12 year old riding a vaccuum cleaner naked was engaging in a "reasonably forseeable use" of that vaccuum cleaner, and thus entitled to damages when he got his member stuck in it?).

In short, I was in trouble. Interests? I had none. Hobbies? Only if doing book briefs counted. I didn't watch t.v., I didn't go to movies, I didn't go out drinking with friends (or alone, for that matter). I thought about, and talked about, law.

I'd like to say this has gotten better. It has -- marginally.

Last night, after Archi-Sapper and I went to dinner, we met up with some of my friends for drinks. We walked into Loa, a local bar, and found four of my lawyer-friends having drinks. It was great to see them because they're a fun group and I hadn't seen three of them in quite some time. We spent some time catching up and drinking and then we got a phone call that some of my other lawyer-friends were meeting at the Ritz for drinks. Why didn't we go join them?

As soon as we got there I felt bad for Archi-Sapper. He's such a trooper, and puts up with untold hours of lawyers, but I'm sure there are a million things he'd rather be doing than listen to us regale one another with deposition tales. About five seconds after we arrived, I was pulled aside by friends who just had to fill me in on the behavior of mutual acquaintances at a recent deposition. Interesting conversation? Yes. Sad that that's the only thing we can find to talk about? Yes.

Posted by Kitty at May 21, 2004 10:16 AM

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