March 29, 2004

People With Too Much Time On Their Hands

This article is so New Orleans.

First of all, only in New Orleans would someone own a cafe, a bar, a voodoo museum and voodoo temple. Secondly, only in New Orleans would you have a doctorate in mythology and depth psychology (I don't even know what that is). Apparently, this woman picked up some web design skills along the way, since she has two websites about voodoo (naturally), one of which states that, "Vodun spirituality is concerned with the development of the internal aspect of the self in preparation for evolution" (I don't know what that means, either).

The kicker, of course, is that it took a court in California of all places to determine that this woman didn't have enough assets to pay her creditors. With such a lucrative business plan of running a cafe, bar, voodoo museum and temple, one would've expected her to be flush with cash.

Posted by Kitty at 12:29 PM | Comments (1)

March 26, 2004

The Oxford Experience

This whole idea of an adult summer camp sounds like fun to me. The food sounds less than appetizing, but I've always loved living in dorms and enjoying collegiate life.

Posted by Kitty at 01:02 PM | Comments (1)

March 25, 2004


As anyone who really knows me can attest, one of my all-time favorite t.v. shows was Soap. I absolutely loved this show, so much so that I bought season one on DVD.

Oh come on, you remember this show. It was the sitcom that made fun of soap operas (hence the name -- tricky, I know) and had an all-star cast. It starred Robert Guillame (of Benson fame), Katherine Helmond (of Who's the Boss fame), Richard Mulligan and Billy Crystal (who played a hilarious gay guy, probably one of the first on network television). The show was irreverent, witty, silly and a lot of fun.

So why this post? Because I've just learned that they're releasing season two on DVD in July! Wahoo!

Posted by Kitty at 09:18 PM | Comments (2)


Phobias are tiring. And I say this as someone who knows. Someone who has been there. Someone who just drove to Charleston, South Carolina and back, all to attend a 1.5 hour deposition. Trust me, I'm tired.

I keep thinking back over the past couple of days and wondering when it's going to happen -- when I get to be normal. I am so ready, and have been so ready, to overcome this crazy fear of flying, and yet confidence eludes me. Every time I start to make some headway in this one area of my life, I freeze up and revert to the same things I've always felt and done.

I was okay until Sunday night. I was scheduled to fly out Monday afternoon. Normally, I am a sound sleeper. I fall asleep fairly quickly and sleep like a rock through the night. When I was still awake at 1:30 a.m., I knew that it was going to be a long week. I closed my eyes and tried to drift into sleep, but my eyelids just fluttered rapidly, desperately trying to avoid slumber, and my mind kept going over and over thoughts about my impending flight.

Monday morning the sky was as clear as it has been in ages, a cloudless azure blue, perfect for flying. And when I was at work, sitting at my desk, pounding away on my laptop and trying to get some work done, I felt so alone. The ironic part, of course, is that I normally like being alone. I enjoy it. But this was different.

As I've done so many times before, I canceled my plane reservation and reserved a rental car. I figured if I was going to put 1600 miles on a car, better it be someone else's car. I printed up driving directions to Charleston, loaded up the rental car and sped away onto the Interstate. It was about an hour later when I realized that the car I had rented lacked cruise control.

The deposition was the easiest part of the whole trip. I met the doctor, who is incredibly kind, smart and funny, and defended him at his deposition with ease. I'm really good at what I do, it's just getting there that is the problem. Shouldn't the deposition have been the hard part of the trip?

Posted by Kitty at 12:23 PM | Comments (3)

Cheddar X

1. What would you want written on your epitaph?
She just got tired.

2. What do you collect and why?
I collect cd's and books. I have so many books that they have bowed in the bookshelves in the living room. Even if I don't read them again, I can't bring myself to part with them.

3. What's the dumbest legal action you know of?
Alienation of affection. If your relationship doesn't work out, get over it. There are far more creative ways to get revenge on your ex than this stupid cause of action.

4. What single decision in your life do you wish you could change?
I can't think of one specific instance that I would change, but the only thing I think I'd change is I wish I'd stood up for myself and for others when I (and they) got picked on growing up.

5. Some people resemble their dogs, do you know anyone that resembles their name?
When I was in college, I knew a guy who had the unfortunate name of Les Johnson (I'm not kidding). I never had the oppotunity to find out if he resembled his name or not.

6. What's your favourite / most used unit of time?
I don't know what my favorite is, but my least favorite is 6 minutes -- we bill our time at work in six minute increments (i.e. 0.1=6 minutes, 0.2= 12 minutes, etc.) Once you start doing this at work, you begin inadvertantly breaking down the rest of your life in six minute increments, as well.

7. What's the best internet time device you've seen so far?
I know of some great internet time wasting devices.....

Posted by Kitty at 08:31 AM | Comments (6)

March 19, 2004

Brand New Day

I must be feeling better because it isn't even 10:00 a.m. and I've already partially chewed someone out. My husband has made it safely to Kuwait, but is in despair because he has very limited internet access and he purchased more minutes for his satellite phone on Tuesday but they haven't reached his account yet. My first phone call this morning was to the satellite phone store to see what's up with his minutes and why this is taking so long. I am generally a very patient, laid-back person, but you really don't want to be around me when I'm upset about something. He should have more minutes in two hours.

Aside from avenging the grievous injustices which have been visited upon my husband by the evil sat phone store, I've been trying to get caught up at work post-illness and am preparing for a trip to Charleston, SC on Monday for a deposition. Air travel here I come!

Posted by Kitty at 09:39 AM | Comments (2)

March 16, 2004

On the Mend

Thanks to staying home from work and sleeping in, as well as the effects of Amoxicillin, I am definitely starting to feel better. My wonderful somewhat-former boss has been taking care of me. Last night she made a trip to Whole Foods Market on my behalf and brought me a shopping bag filled with homemade chicken noodle soup, a box of Celestial Seasonings Red Zinger tea bags, a carton of orange-pineapple juice, a leek and brie cheese quiche, some oranges and a pint of Ben & Jerry's ice cream. I'm set!

And yes, daytime television sucks. Thank goodness for DVD players!

Posted by Kitty at 01:13 PM | Comments (5)

March 15, 2004


I am sick.

For the record, I don't get sick often. But when I do, I go all out. I was starting to feel sick this weekend, but I presumed it was just seasonal allergies (since it is in the 70's here). After I took two Benadryl caplets during the day and didn't even feel the slightest bit sleepy, that was a clue.

I felt a bit better this morning, so I dragged myself into work. By 10:00 a.m., I felt as if a truck had hit me in the face, backed up and hit me again. I scooped up some work to take home and went straight to my doctor's office (handily located just around the corner from my office). His diagnosis? Bronchitis with a sinus infection and two ear infections. Ick. I am now heavily medicated and lying on the couch watching daytime television.

Posted by Kitty at 04:15 PM | Comments (3)

March 12, 2004


1. What's your favorite form of corporate or governmental irony?
Microsoft always strives to simplify their software so anyone can understand and use it. This is the same company that expects you to shut down your computer by clicking a button labeled "Start".

2. What are your favorite acronyms?
I can't say that I have any.

3. Do you have personal acronyms? What are they?
Again, nope.

4. Where do you shop online?
Mostly and lately at

5. What do you buy online?
At Amazon I buy books, music and workout DVD's. At Reflect I buy makeup.

6. What would you do if you were falsely accused of shoplifting?
I would get some of my friends at the firm to represent me, file a lawsuit against the company that falsely accused me and make them miserable until they dropped the charges.

7. What's your take on Feng Shui? Hooey or truey?
Hooey. Your success, happiness and financial well-being are all dependent on where you place the fern in your office? Whatever.

Posted by Kitty at 07:05 PM | Comments (1)

March 10, 2004

Dr. Laura Redux

For those of you who are as irritated by Dr. Laura as I am, I thought you'd appreciate the follow missive which can be found on The link was sent to me by a friend with an excellent eye. Enjoy:

Dear Dr. Laura,

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind him that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific laws and how to best follow them.

a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

e) I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an Abomination (Lev 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

g) Lev 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev 19:27. How should they die?

i) I know from Lev 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev 24:10-16) Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted disciple and adoring fan.

Posted by Kitty at 09:46 AM | Comments (6)

March 09, 2004

Toxic Avengers

When I was growing up in Dallas, I used to make the rounds with my mom at Christmas time to see the lights on the houses. It is impossible to do anything with my mother without having her give a running commentary of events, so it comes as no surprise that we ended up in a discussion of each house as we passed it, as well as a recap of each street as we turned the corner.

There was one house that had decorations I just didn't get. The house was perfectly nice, located in an upscale neighborhood. In the front yard, the homeowners placed a manger scene, complete with the baby Jesus in a wooden crib, watched over by parental units, all underneath a thatched canopy. Nearby stood the three wise men, an assortment of animals (not bad for North Dallas) and Santa Claus. That's right, Santa Claus. Whenever we would pass the offending house, my mother would go on a tirade about how wrong the decorations were and how sacreligious they were. All I could think was, "Way to miss the point."

That's how I feel when I see this website. Regular readers of my blog (yes, both of you) probably don't frequent law firm websites, but I've seen a few over the years. This one is, by far, the funniest.

Folks, law firm websites aren't supposed to be funny. What's more, it isn't clear from this website whether its creators intended for it to be humorous (though I have a hunch they didn't). Once I get past the initial image of the teenage-type-person who appears to have an extra chromosome, I am struck by the irony of this site. The site's "theme" (if I may, and I think I will) seems to be to keep it simple. Not a bad idea. Too bad their website doesn't follow that advice.

After inundating you with photos of people who either look like specimens from the bottom of the gene pool or who look like they've sat on something vaguely squishy, you're treated to their litigation philosophy -- summed up in a page so long you have to scroll down to read the drivel -- that goes on (and on) about how wonderful it is that they're able to take incredibly complex concepts and dumb them down so they'll be so simple, even a juror could understand them!

If I were looking for a law firm to defend my large, corporate entity in say, toxic tort litigation, this website might not be ringing my bell. Here's why: There are, without a doubt, some issues in toxic tort litigation that are complicated. Do these cases require lawyers to split atoms? Well, not exactly. To assume that you, or your law firm, is one of the only entities capable of understanding and parsing such issues as (1) duty, (2) breach, (3) causation and (4) damages is somewhat misleading.

I just get the feeling when I read this website that the firm is looking out at its public, wearing a satisfied grin and saying, "Don't worry about those arcane, convoluted, downright confusing lawsuits that plague you so! Our firm has a team of supermen who will whip on their Toxic Avenger capes and save the day with our dry erase boards and sharpie markers! We'll make those stupid, stupid jurors understand even the trickiest arguments -- Don't worry, you can pay us later."

Posted by Kitty at 01:14 PM | Comments (2)

March 06, 2004

Bada Bing

I love The Sopranos.

Yes, I know the last season wasn't quite as good as prior seasons. I still think it is the best show television currently has to offer. The show's greatest strength lies in its nuances. Tony Soprano runs an organization that extorts money from people, runs gambling rings and kills people who get in their way. And he comes off as being one of the most sympathetic characters on the show. The show consistently refuses to give easy answers to complicated problems and still manages to be entertaining.

The complexity of the show is evidenced by the fact that actually has a panel of psychiatrists who analyze each show the week after it airs. Their entries are interesting, but sometimes a mobster is just a mobster, as they say.

Simply stated, don't call me tomorrow night. I have a date with a mobster.

Posted by Kitty at 12:37 PM | Comments (1)

March 05, 2004

Cheddar X

1. Where do you do your best thinking?
I'm not sure, but I do know it isn't at the office.

2. What was the last thing you gave away?
A pair of dress shoes I bought over the internet that didn't fit me.

3. What generation do you most identify with? What generation interests you the most?
I most identify with the generation I grew up with -- those of us who grew up in the 80's watching MTV. The generation that interests me the most is my grandparents' generation, because it seems different from my own.

4. What was your favorite pet growing up?
We had a dog when I was very young and the dog was named Baby. She was a Hungarian Viesla and had previously been a police dog. She was so patient with me and protective of me. I used to climb up on her back and try to ride her like a horse, which she tolerated much longer than she should have.

5. What keeps you up at night?
Work, stress, worry, upset stomachs.

6. What do you love about your significant other?
Everything. Absolutely everything.

Posted by Kitty at 05:10 PM | Comments (1)

March 04, 2004

Senior Moments

This story is too bizarre -- and too funny -- to go without mention. For the next fight that breaks out at the senior citizen's salad bar, I'm putting $50 on the 92 year old.

WINTER HAVEN, Fla. - A dispute at the salad bar turned into a food fracas at an upscale retirement home, with a man taking a bite out of another's arm and other residents suffering minor injuries.

Police said resident Lee Thoss, 62, of the Spring Haven Retirement Community was picking through the lettuce, which disgusted 86-year-old William Hocker, who was standing in line behind him.

Hocker told Thoss no one wanted to eat food he had been playing with. Thoss yelled and cursed at him, Hocker told police, and Hocker called him a nasty name. Then, witnesses said, Thoss then began punching Hocker in the face.

In the buffet melee that followed, Allen Croft, 79, tried to grab Thoss, who bit him on the arm, reports said.

Thoss' mother, Arlene, in her 80s and also a Spring Haven resident, jumped in to break up the fight and ended up with a cut arm. Harry Griffin, 92, was standing at the salad bar and cut his head when he was knocked to the ground.

"All the old folks were either getting up to help or trying to get out of there," police spokesman J.J. Stanton said of the scene last Sunday in the well-appointed dining room, which features an ice cream bar and a pastry chef.

Arlene Thoss, Croft and Griffin were treated at a local hospital and released.

Stanton said all involved declined to press charges, but home administrators have asked Lee Thoss to move out.

Posted by Kitty at 09:40 PM | Comments (8)

March 02, 2004

Basketball I Might Watch

Generally, I don't watch sports. Okay, I never watch sports. Happy? (we're having true confessions today at kittysays).

However, I saw this article on ESPN (don't ask me why I'm reading if I don't watch sports -- focus, people) and watching a basketball game that takes place on the flight deck of an aircraft carrier would be cool.

Posted by Kitty at 09:33 PM | Comments (1)

March 01, 2004


I had a nice, relaxing weekend (which is now over, for those of you keeping score). Friday night I hung out at home, and Saturday night I went to Harrah's for some dinner and gambling with friends. I actually ended up ahead by the end of the evening -- quite a feat for me. Last night I had dinner and wine with a girl friend and came home and collapsed into bed. The wine must've put me into a coma because when Maggie brought her rawhide bone into bed and chewed on it loudly enough to wake the dead, I didn't even notice. I'm such a nice mom.

And since I know everyone is dying to find out what book I'm reading now, I'll end the suspense.

Posted by Kitty at 08:57 AM | Comments (1)