February 28, 2004

The female sex drive

Can't figure out why your girlfriend doesn't want to have sex? Apparently, neither can Pfizer.

Posted by Kitty at 12:41 PM | Comments (1)

February 26, 2004

This has all the

This has all the makings of a Robert Ludlum novel.

Posted by Kitty at 10:59 AM | Comments (2)


I wish I had served with George W. Bush in the National Guard. I could use $10,000.

I love Donnesbury.

Posted by Kitty at 10:54 AM | Comments (0)

February 23, 2004

Quiz-- What Federal Rule of Civil Procedure Are You?


You were designed to make sure that attorneys in
federal cases make reasonable inquiries into
fact or law before submitting pleadings,
motions, or other papers. You were a real
hardass in 1983, when you snuffed out all legal
creativity from federal proceedings and
embarassed well-meaning but overzealous
attorneys. You loosened up a bit in 1993, when
you began allowing plaintiffs to make
allegations in their complaints that are likely
to have evidenciary support after discovery,
and when you allowed a 21 day period for the
erring attorney to withdraw the errant motion.
Sure, you keep everything running on the up and
up, but it's clear that things would be a lot
more fun without you around.

Which Federal Rule of Civil Procedure Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Posted by Kitty at 10:20 AM | Comments (9)

Lundi Gras

I'm not really in the Mardi Gras spirit this year (something about hanging out in a dirty, stinky street with hundreds of drunk strangers just doesn't appeal right now), but feel obliged to post something Mardi Gras related since today is Lundi Gras, after all. To that end, this article should answer whatever questions you might have about Mardi Gras if you've never been.

Posted by Kitty at 09:53 AM | Comments (1)

February 20, 2004

Cheddar X

1. What was your last good deed for a stranger?

My last "big" good deed for someone who was a stranger to me was the pro bono case I handled at the end of 2003. I only met with my client once before the hearing, so she was basically a stranger!

2. Describe the last relationship that ended badly or with regrets.

I dated a guy when I was in college and we broke up as I was headed to law school. The relationship definitely ended badly, but I have no regrets. After we broke up, I started dating and eventually married my husband.

3. Do you love or hate your job? Why?

I love my job, actually. It is challenging, entertaining and is different from day to day, so I never get bored. Just when I think I have my cases figured out, I get a surprise and learn something new. I also love my firm and the smart, funny goofballs who work here.

4. What was the strangest place you've lived?

The dorm I lived in during my freshman year of college at Rhodes was pretty strange. I lived in a dorm called Williford, that was filled with first year women. It was designed in such a way that there were four rooms (doubles), with two on each side of the hallway, and then a bathroom. If you walked through the bathroom, you could get to the next set of four rooms, and so on. Thus, you had to walk through the bathrooms to get to the rest of the building. Sounds strange, but it was great at promoting a sense of community -- provided that you liked the people in your quad of rooms.

5. What blogs do you occasionally read just because you have no idea why anyone would have any interest in reading them?

I barely have time to read the blogs that everyone else reads, much less "fringe blogs".

6. Have you engaged in comment wars before? On your blog or on someone else's? What was the war about?

I can't say that I have.

7. Do you ban IP's and commenters? Who and why?

No, I don't. This isn't really an issue for me since I don't get a great deal of either traffic or commentary on my blog.

8. What is the first thing you notice about someone when you first meet them?

Honestly? Their teeth. I'm serious! I hate my teeth and would love to have them capped (though I haven't saved up the cash for that procedure yet), so I always check out other people's to see if their are enviable.

9. Have you already made up your mind about the next Presidential Election?

No, I haven't. I don't plan to vote for Bush, but beyond that, things are still up in the air.

Posted by Kitty at 03:30 PM | Comments (1)

February 19, 2004

May It Please the Court

Yesterday I judged an appellate Moot Court competition for Tulane Law School. The competition was one round in Tulane's annual Mardi Gras Sports Law competition (Tulane offers a certificate in Sports Law, a field I didn't know existed until I went to law school). Students from law schools far and wide attend this tournament for a chance to bring more accolades to their law program and to drink heavily on their school's dime.

The tournament is set up so that each room has two sides competing against each other (appellant and appellee), with two "attorneys" on each side. There are supposed to be three judges in each room, as appellate arguments are typically held before three judge panels (except for a few hearings which are held before the entire court of appeal, and are thus called hearings en banc). We only ended up with two judges in our room, which worked out well in the end.

When schools enter the tournament, they receive a packet of information which tells them the facts of the fictitious case, and what happened at the (again fictitious) trial court level. They then conduct legal research, write an appellate brief (the main reason why I never did appellate Moot Court in law school -- more writing? No thank you.), and argue their case before us, the judges.

This year's topic was a football antitrust issue (stay with me here). The case involved two non-BCS schools, who had perfect records for that season, who were not invited to participate in any bowl games because they were from the same conference, which violates BCS rules. They sued the BCS, claiming that its system for selecting schools to compete in the bowl games and championship game violates the Sherman Antitrust Act (if you're unfamiliar with it, give Bill Gates a call for a refresher course). Basically, they claim that the BCS system creates "barriers to entry" into the market, and precludes them from the lucrative benefits of playing a bowl game, which include making oodles of money for their program, getting more press coverage, being able to more easily recruit good players, etc. Plaintiffs wanted the BCS to move to a playoff system.

As you read this blog entry, know this: I understand precious little about sports. When it comes to football, my knowledge level plummets. Don't believe me? Ask my husband (seriously, he'll vouch for this). I don't even understand the rules of football. I have this vague idea that it is a game of land acquisition. Beyond that, I'm very fuzzy on the details.

Additionally, before I received the bench brief for this competition (the packet of info they give the judges that briefs each side of the case), I didn't know what the BCS was. The Pac-10? What in the hell is that? The Sherman Antitrust Act? Now, that one I knew. When I looked over the bench brief, the only question that I could think of was: Who cares? This is football, for crying out loud!

Fortunately for me, I was able to muddle through with the most rudimentary knowledge of our nation's favorite sport by relying upon grilling the attorneys over questions about the law (shocking, I know). Actually, though, it was a lot of fun. I felt like I was judging American Idol (which must be why this is my third American Idol-related post this week), only all of the competitors were actually talented. And no, I didn't yell at anyone.

Posted by Kitty at 10:34 PM | Comments (6)

So cute

This little guy is so cute! The cult following he has achieved reminds me of that "I Kiss You" e-mail that went around a few years ago that spawned such a bizarre phenomenon.

Posted by Kitty at 10:15 PM | Comments (0)

February 15, 2004

I Like Simon

This article discusses a phenomenon I'm so glad someone else sees besides me -- the coddling of idiots.

When I was in law school, I had classes with several people who bugged the hell out of me. I wasn't bothered by people who didn't read the cases, or who didn't show up for class or who goofed off during lectures. The people who annoyed me to no end were the ones who thought they knew everything and would simply not shut up about it.

You know who I'm talking about. These are the people who want to tell you how to do your job, even though they've been unable to keep the last eight jobs they've held; the people who want to tell you how to raise your children while theirs are in prison; the people who want to instruct you how to do anything when they are intellectually challenged by the task of getting from their front door to their car every day.

These people are why I love to watch the beginning of every season of American Idol. I'll admit it. I love watching some pompous idiot get up and warble something that sounds like a cat dying in a hailstorm, only to have Simon tell him the truth -- that he is awful.

Where was Simon when I was in law school?

Posted by Kitty at 03:33 PM | Comments (4)

February 13, 2004

Cheddar Sex

1. Who's your daddy?

I don't even know where to begin with that one . . .

2. What's your orientation?


3. What's your favorite sexual position?

There are so many good ones, it is difficult for me to choose.

4. How do you feel about porn?

Soft core? Like it. Hard core? Amusing, but no thanks.

5. How do you feel about same sex porn?

Girl on girl is fine with me. I've never seen guy on guy but I doubt that it would do much for me.

6. About how often do you engage in sexual relations?

Now? Approximately never.

7. How often do you masturbate?

Depends on my mood. Anywhere from every other day to every other week.

8. Do you have toys?

Does my Hello Kitty count? Um, yes.

9. What was your most intense sexual experience?

That would have to be losing my virginity to my wonderful husband.

10. How important is sex to maintaining the bond between you and your partner?

Sex is quite important in the overall scheme of the relationship, though intercourse itself isn't always critical. Maintaining some sort of regular physical, intimate contact is vital, though, in my opinion.

11. Have you ever engaged in same sex activities?

Sure. I go shopping with my girlfriends all the time.

12. Have you ever considered "swinging"?

I've considered it. Actually doing it would be another issue entirely.

13. What is your earliest sexual memory?

My husband and I have had sex at 1:00 a.m. before. That counts, right?

14. Have you ever paid for sex? (interpret that however you like)

I can't say that I have.

15. Are you more aroused by visual, auditory or sensate (touch) stimulation?

I'm like a guy in this respect. I'd have to go with visual.

16. How long have you gone without sex with another person?

From birth until age 25.

17. How long have you gone without sex period?

If this includes masturbation, from birth until age 10.

18. Do you have to have an emotional connection before having sex with someone? How has that changed as you've grown up?

This isn't really an issue for me, since I obviously have an emotional connection with my husband, who is my sex partner (at least, when he's living in this country, that is). I think that now that I'm older, it would be easier for me to separate sex from love, though doing so might not be the best idea.

Posted by Kitty at 09:36 AM | Comments (2)

Kids These Days

Having recently purchased a new car and having gone through the hassles of contending with the dealership, I am amazed that this kid was able to trick a dealership. I think of myself as a fairly good negotiator, and I was hard pressed to negotiate the deal I wanted on my car, much less to convince them that I was more credit worthy than I am.

Posted by Kitty at 09:16 AM | Comments (0)

February 11, 2004

Why Me?

I have to admit that it is ironic that I received the latest Notice of Deposition today, the day after I've been complaining about having to hang out in Jennings.

Whenever there are depositions noticed in faraway places, why are they always in my cases? Is there some sort of cosmic travel-curse against me? Or does the plaintiff's lawyer know I don't like to fly, and therefore purposely finds witnesses in far flung locations just to annoy me?

The location of the deposition in late March? Freeport, Bahamas.

Posted by Kitty at 10:08 AM | Comments (4)

February 09, 2004

My Life of Glamour

Sometimes when I talk to people, I get the impression that they think being a litigator is glamorous. You want to talk about glamour?

Last week and this week I'm in depositions. Attending the depositions themselves isn't too bad. I know how to defend my clients, and the deponents are usually nice (with few exceptions).

The bigger issue is that these depositions usually take place in less than exciting locales. Last week, I was in Mount Hermon, LA. Mount Hermon's only claim to fame is that it is next door to Kentwood, LA, home of Britney Spears (a dubious distinction, to be sure, but it's all theirs). Tomorrow, I am headed to scenic Jennings, LA, about twenty miles west of nowhere.

To add excitement to these exotic ports of call, there's always the circumstances surrounding the homes you get to visit. Most of the time, if you're travelling 2+ hours to some godforsaken town, it is because the deponent is too ill to travel and is thus homebound. I have spent more time sitting on the floors and folding chairs of trailers, tin houses that almost blew away (with me in them) and at people's bedsides than I spent visiting my relatives last year. My deposition in Mount Hermon last week was a perfect example.

We finally arrived at the plaintiff's house after quite a bit of searching -- his gravel street doesn't have a street sign, and his house doesn't have a house number. Fortunately, all of the lawyers in these cases know each other, so when one of us finds the house, they usually stand outside and flag down the other lost lawyers. We all got there and piled into his house. This is the point where I always feel sorry for the deponents. Even though they've filed a large lawsuit, they never seem to be prepared for the parade of attorneys that files into their kitchen and living room and promptly spreads out like they're about to start the trial right there next to the refrigerator.

We got situated and finally got the deposition underway. The plaintiff's lawyer is a friend of mine. She's from Dallas, and wears these sophisticated, expensive dresses and high heeled shoes everywhere she goes. After navigating the gravel street in her heels, she then sat next to her client and had to kill the roaches that were crawling across the kitchen table during his testimony. No, I'm not kidding.

Is anyone available to go to Jennings for me tomorrow?

Posted by Kitty at 12:38 PM | Comments (9)

February 07, 2004


I have friends who have Tivo and it sounds like a cool idea. However, something about my electronics equipment trying to select television programs for me to watch kinda weirds me out.

Now, after reading this article, I'm even more weirded out by it. If I were to have my Tivo record, say, the Superbowl halftime show, and I were to repeatedly rewind a certain portion of that show so I could repeatedly view a certain *ahem* pierced nipple, I don't think I'd want to advertise that. But that's me.

Posted by Kitty at 05:00 PM | Comments (1)

February 06, 2004

Cheddar X

1. What is your ugliest moment?
Any moment when I've just woken up is pretty ugly, not just because I haven't showered yet but because I am likely to be quite surly.

2. Are people more likely to try and take advantage of someone outside their ethnicity?
I would hate to think so, but I'm sure there are certainly people who would do that. I couldn't make that generalization for everyone, though.

3. Do you have links on your blog that are linked back? How does that make you feel (and I'm not really talking about the A-list bloggers)?
I am definitely not an A-list blogger. I appreciate it when my links are reciprocated, but it doesn't bother me if people don't link back to me. I am an adult and not in fifth grade -- not everyone has to like me or my blog, and just because they don't link to my blog doesn't mean they don't like it.

4. Is it better to lead with bad news followed by good or the other way around? Why?
I think it is always better to lead with bad news. It gets it out of the way quickly, and gives you something to look forward to while you're listening to the bad news.

5. What was your worst injury?
Fortunately, I've never really injured myself too badly. My worst was probably when I was leaving the courthouse in New Orleans a few years ago, because we had to evacuate for a fire alarm. I was walking outside and twisted my ankle. It healed pretty quickly.

6. What's your secret talent or skill?
This isn't so much a talent or a skill but I suppose a secret quality. I have this inexplicable quality that makes people feel the need to tell me things. All kinds of things. Completely unsolicited. Even people I don't know -- strangers in the mall tell me things. It is bizarre, really.

Posted by Kitty at 03:51 PM | Comments (6)

February 03, 2004

Saturday night drinking

My friend Robert lives across the street from a bar in New Orleans (that can actually be said of quite a lot of people in New Orleans, but I digress). The bar is on a corner, and they frequently keep their doors open to attract business. One of the cool things about the bar is that they allow people to bring their dogs -- it is kind of a theme for them, as they have framed photos of dogs lining the walls.

On Saturday night, Robert came home from having been out of town for a wedding. When he returned, his dog was missing. It was raining pretty hard that night, and after looking around and not finding the dog, he gave up and went to bed.

Around 3:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the owner of the bar across the street, saying that his dog had wandered over there several hours before, and they were planning to close up for the night and were wondering when he was going to pick up his dog.

Pretty funny when your dog gets out more than you do.

Posted by Kitty at 01:24 PM | Comments (6)