June 30, 2005

Scientology Meme

I've seen this meme on several blogs, but I copied the questions from The Hot Librarian. These are allegedly questions that the "Church" of Scientology asks in one of its questionnaires. I have no clue if that's true, but the questions are just weird enough to fit that "religion".

1. Have you driven anyone insane?

Only my mother. And I'm pretty sure she was already insane when we met.

2. Have you ever killed the wrong person?

Not yet.

3. Is anybody looking for you?

My dog is usually trying to track me down, but that poor thing can't even find her tennis ball, and she's got about a million of them around our house.

4. Have you ever set a poor example?

I was raised a good Catholic girl. Of course I think I've set poor examples, but only the good die young, right?

5. Did you come to Earth for evil purposes?

I try to use my powers for good.

6. Are you in hiding?

This is sort of like question #3. Just because people can't seem to find me doesn't mean I'm hiding.

7. Have you systematically set up mysteries?

I'm really not organized enough to do much of anything systematically, much less setting up mysteries.

8. Have you ever made a practice of confusing people?

I really try not to make a habit of it, but sometimes it can't be helped.

9. Have you ever philosophized when you should have acted instead?

I'm not much of a philosopher so there's never really any danger that I'm going to be too busy contemplating the world's mysteries to say, eat.

10. Have you ever gone crazy?

Why no -- the wonders of modern psychiatry have kept me on the "sane" side of the balance sheet.

11. Have you ever sought to persuade someone of your insanity?

If I were really insane, I don't think convincing others would require much persuasion.

12. Have you ever deserted, or betrayed, a great leader?

I'd have to meet one first.

13. Have you ever smothered a baby?

What kind of questions are these?

14. Do you deserve to have any friends?

Why yes. I'm a good listener, I'm funny and I make a mean peach iced tea.

15. Have you ever castrated anyone?

You know, I didn't even realize that was an option.....

16. Do you deserve to be enslaved?

Oh goodness, no. I'm much too delicate for that sort of treatment. Unless it's at a spa. Then I might have to reconsider.

17. Is there any question on this list I had better not ask you again?

Well, the one about smothering a baby, but you never really should've asked me that in the first place. Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?

18. Have you ever tried to make the physical universe less real?

Only every day. Alcohol works pretty well.

19. Have you ever zapped anyone?

Only through static electricity.

20. Have you ever had a body with a venereal disease? If so, did you spread it?

Define "had" for me. I don't know how many bodies I've "had", but I can't say I've ever spread venereal diseases.

Posted by Kitty at June 30, 2005 10:25 AM

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