October 06, 2003
Twilight
There's something about twilight that makes me quiet. Maybe it's the way the sky feels like a dome in a planetarium, and the darkness starts at the top and creeps down through the leaves of the trees, over houses and cars and people until it sinks into the earth. On a clear night, the sky has this medium blue glow that Crayola hasn't been able to copy yet. Everything is so still, and so peaceful and so quiet......it makes me think.
My husband has been gone since March. He's in Iraq, sitting outside his barracks, looking at the same twilight that I see. I wonder if it makes him feel the same as it makes me feel. Living with his absence every day, day in and day out, month after interminable month, I have begun to understand solitude. I have begun to understand the quiet contemplation of autumn twilight. I have begun to understand what it is like to lose a part of yourself.
I struggle with my feelings of loss, and helplessness and frustration and sorrow and search for a way to express them in words.
I cannot.
At this time in my life when I need them most, words fail me.
All I know is that I miss him. And I want him to come home. Soon.
Posted by Kitty at October 6, 2003 10:57 AM
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