March 04, 2006

What to Expect

During the weekend of my birthday in January, it all started to make sense. On Sunday afternoon, I'd had my second meal of the day and thought, "Man, why am I still hungry?" I was nodding off in my chair in the middle of the afternoon thinking, "Man, why am I so tired?" I roused myself from my sleepy hunger long enough to think, "Why is my period late?" That was my first clue.

I bought a home pregnancy test which showed, surprise surprise, that I was pregnant. I didn't believe it. Seriously, I'm supposed to gauge my major life events based on what a plastic stick from the drug store tells me? So, I went to the doctor the next day and he confirmed what the plastic stick already knew. I'm officially expecting.

I've waited to make any sort of big announcement, because I'm still early on in this adventure and there's still a fairly high risk of miscarriage. So, Archi-Sapper and I are thrilled about the news, and are cautiously optimistic that things will progress as expected.

This will be my first child, so I'm learning as I go. I mean, I've raised Archi-Sapper for the past six years, but I've never raised an actual child before. The first lesson I've learned is that all women who have been through this process before have their stories, their suggestions and their opinions. I'm absorbing as much of it as I can, but I have to admit gravitating toward the ones who are a tad more realistic about this whole experience.

Not long after I found out the news, I got an e-mail out of the blue from an old friend. This friend has several kids at home and is pregnant again, so I figured she's an expert. I had been told to expect some fatigue. That doesn't even begin to cover it. Once you let another human being live amongst your internal organs and exist off what you eat, then you will know from exhaustion. And, of course, we've all heard stories about "morning sickness." A more apt term would be a hormonal hangover, because that's basically what it feels like. You know that eating is the main thing that will make you feel better, but that's the last thing you want to do. And smells -- don't get me started on odors. I can catch a whiff of something I normally like (like my perfume) and I start making the noises my dog makes when she eats something that doesn't agree with her.

So, I sought the advice of my "expert" friend. This was a bad idea. When I asked about queasiness and fatigue, she gave me her story. It went something like this, "I simply adored every day of every one of my pregnancies. Each morning I would rise and bask in the glow of motherhood, thrilled with the gift I'd been given. My skin radiated and I never felt the least bit sick or tired or unhappy. Each passing day was better than the last....blah, blah, blah." These kind of stories only make me want to respond, "That's great, Snow White. I'm glad that little birds help you get dressed in the morning, but I am not feeling so hot over here."

My saving grace this weekend has been the new book I just purchased, The Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy. Not only does most of the advice (so far) appear to be right on the money, but the tone matches how I feel. One of my favorite excerpts: "I believe that any woman who tells you that her pregnancy is, without exception, the most pleasant and fulfilling time of her life is either lying or has a personality disorder."

There may be hope for me yet.

Posted by Kitty at March 4, 2006 08:25 PM

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